what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
