She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
