My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
