i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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