I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
