well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
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