I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
