Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Randomize
