i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
