yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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