I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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