somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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