Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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