Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My penis needs a shock collar
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
