dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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