am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
porn star boner night. come get it.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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