the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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