my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
