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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
