But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My room smells like vodka and shame
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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