Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
