I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
