She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
