I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
