lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
