just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
