Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
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Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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