Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have demons in me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize