i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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