i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
