Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
