how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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