Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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