Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
