why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
