I could have mohawked her pubes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We smell like vodka and hangover
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