Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
