I must be too annoying 4 u.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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