I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
