I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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