Sponge bath it is.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
