too bad you live with your parents still
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
