@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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