If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
