I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize