That's intense
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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