Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think people are normalizing furries
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize