Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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