He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
