i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize