stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
