The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
