You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I forget how to act sober
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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