im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
