You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
