yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize