dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
