If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
