Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Me. At least after what I've been through.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Randomize
