I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
