It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
