Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
