She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
