if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
