You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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